AM I WRONG ? BY BRIAN LEEMAN

Lately I have been Questioning were I am going in life , God ,  and why can't be content at were i am at.

A warning to who read this , I am going to be totally honest in this blog entry . So if your going to read this , read at your own risk.

I got a job at shoprite  as a cashier  after 4 long years , I am so happy i got the job but i wonder if this it for me ?

To be honest this job is hard for me because of my learning disability(not using it as excuse ),  i wonder  how long i can keep this job  because   i am mistakes on things i should be already not making .

Now i do have good days  as a cashier  but i just it had more because i really need this job.

Am I wrong  to be worried about my learning disability?

I  see were this world is going and i wonder if i even if i have chance at a future.

 I want to be a youth pastor, get married , have a house , and  have some kids,  but i wonder if that will ever happened.

I am 24 ,  not saying i am old  but i am not fresh  out of high school  either were i have some time to figure things out.   I am tried of hearing that i need to wait, i might have to wait 4 yrs to find a job not 40 yrs but it does not make sense that i have to wait another 4 or maybe 5 to be were my friends are at!

Am i wrong   to want to move forward in life  and want to prove to people that i am not a screw up  aka failure?

Sometimes i wonder if God hears my prayer's  or see's what i am going through or waht i am going through mentally .

 I sometimes question Jeremiah 29:11 because i don't get what his plan is for life .

To my fellow christians , don't you dare say you never questioned God !

I am a weird point in my life were i need answers to my questions .

In closing,  you can judge on what i just wrote in this blog entry   but this what i am going through , so deal with it!

The Image In My Mirror By Brian Leeman

THE IMAGE  IN MY MIRROR

When  I  look in at the image in my mirror all i see  is a mess.

 I  see the disgusting  stretch marks on my stomach from  all the emotional eating, it makes  me  feel embarrassed   to take my shirt off.

 I see my messed up teeth ,  I hate smiling because i afraid people will judge .

  I feel like girl will  not  love a guy like me , because i look so ugly.

 No matter how much weight  i lose , i still see a mess .

I don't feel like a man   because i have issues with  my self image.

  But i know  i can't be the only guy that  deal with this , right ?

I know that with prayer and support from friends and family, that i will learn to love myself for who i am not what the world defines  as  a good looking man.

Side note : I did not  write this because i want to feel bad for me but for other guys who dealing with this issue of self image that they are not the only ones  dealing with it.

Please stop................ By Brian Leeman

Have you ever been bullied ? Or Have You bullied someone?


I have been bullied and have been the bully,  neither were fun at all.

I bullied someone cause I was bullied but that does not make it right.


I want to tell you story about a boy name hunter  who  got sick of being bullied every day and did something about  it.
 Warning there are some harsh lanauge in this story




Hunter  is 16 year old  who wears hammy downs and  is very shy around people.
Hunter lives with his dad , who is the town drunk.

 Because of the way Hunter dresses and his dad being the town drunk ,  the kids at his school bully him all the time and beat him  up once a week .

They names he get's called each day are so horrible but ones that hurt the most are , :  you are a mistake, you should have been aborted ! ,     God hates scrubs like you  ! , and    just die already ! ,  the world would be better off with out you !.

 The jock's in his school  beat up , they last time they beat him up he had to get stitches on his face.

Hunter tries to reach out but no help comes his way .  His Drunk Dad tells him to man up and then smacks him around .  The teachers won't doing anything because they think he asks for it .


Hunter feels alone  and starts cutting to make the pain go away  but it does not help.  So Hunter starts using pain pills  but also  does not fully help ease from daily torment .

So one stormy night tried of it all , hunter finally finds a way to end the pain and his misery.

Hunter tells his dad he is going out for awhile   but dad  doesn't even hear him, he is too busy drowning himself in liquor .

Hunter heads towards the school  with rope and a note .


The next morning  when gets to school  they see hunter hanging from his home room celling fan  with a note on his desk.  The  note said :

Well  you all got what you wanted !!!!!!!!!!

I am nothing but mistake , why did i not do this sooner?!

I hate all of you , even you dad.  you are reason mom left !!!

I hope you all burn in hell for  all  you freaks put me through!


I just wanted  someone to love me but i guess that was too much to ask !

your mistake ,

Hunter 

Now tis story is not a true story but this happens  a lot theses days , sometimes it ends as a school shooting.

 We need to teach our kids  that bulling is not okay , so we can avoid tragedies like this. 

We also need to ourselves  start watching out for kids  who are being bullied  and make sure they don't stay victims .

 We need to start treating each with respect and  lifting  each other up .

Most importantly we need to love like Jesus did.

STOP BULLYING AND EMBRACE LOVE !!!!

Are you a stumbling block ?

We all have things we struggle  with  and even  the strongest  Christian has things they struggle with.

But in life  we have  people  or things in life that are stumbling  blocks , this  is the the topic i want to talk about to day.

Lets  look at Romans 14: 20- 21 : " 20 Do not destroy the work of God for the sake of food. All food is clean, but it is wrong for a man to eat anything that causes someone else to stumble. 21 It is better not to eat meat or drink wine or to do anything else that will cause your brother to fall".


In these verses   Paul is talking to the Gentiles about not being a stumbling block  for there Jewish brother's in Christ  because  even there were Jewish brothers who accepted Jesus , they still hold to  law of not eating  anything that  was not kosher .

We can apply this principle to our daily life's  and  we should live out.

 For example , I was addicted to drugs and alcohol ( been sober for 4 yrs. now )  and when Gots saved i had  to get rid of some friends  who were still  living that life style  .  The reason i did that is because they were stumbling blocks  in my recovery  and me being is important. I hope some they will repent and accept Jesus in there heart's. 

We also can be stumbling blocks  also, i know i could be a stumbling block .

For example, i don't  think harry potter is evil or witchcraft but i might have a friend who does or has had trouble with witchcraft, so it would best for me not to  have this friend over  and put on a harry potter movie because would want this friend  to stumble in his walk with Christ.

 so in closing , make sure you are not a stumbling block  for your brothers and sisters in Christ and get rid of the stumbling blocks in you life