Brian Leeman's untold stories and thoughts: I APOLOGIZE, SORTA OF BY BRIAN LUKE LEEMAN

So i want to take time in this blog entry to sorta of apologize for some of the negative blog entrys/ FB statues and to my family ,those who are friends with in life , those who are friends with on FB.

I want to apologize for not posting but more positive statues and blog entry's , but.............................. What i will not apologize is for being real !

I want you know something about me that i don't normally share , i have Generalized anxiety disorder , Bipolar disorder, and Dysthymic Disorder .

Here are some links to what these disorders are :Dysthymic Disorder

Generalized anxiety disorder:

Bipolar Disorder
just click and a article will pop up

“I feel like I'm a snow globe and someone shook me up and now every little piece of me is falling back randomly and nothing is ending up where it used to be.”
― Amy Reed, Crazy

I have my good day and my bad days , it just sometimes for no reason my bad days last longer .

I don't want to be nor do i like being down for being a long periods of time .

This is not something i choose , even though some ignorant fools would have believe !

When i have my bad days i don't want to wake up , i don't want to leave the house , i don't want to talk to people , i eat way too much , and when it does get really i have cut myself .

All praises go to Jesus , i have not cut my self in 3 months !

Here is a poem on bi polar by Heather Saine

Haunted

Once again, I lie awake
Unable to do the one thing I want most
To sleep off the madness
My thoughts race and my mood darkens
Everything around me takes on a shadow
Like being surrounded by demons
Only the demons are in my head and I can''t run from them for there is no hope of escape
It feels like I am being attacked from the inside
My own brain has turned on me and I no longer even know myself
I can''t trust my actions because if my thoughts don''t make sense then how are my actions supposed to?
I look in the mirror and I do not see an attractive person
The ugliness is seeping out from the inside and affecting the outside
Engulfing me
Everything I thought I was is gone
Leaving me a broken shell
I never knew the depths of this kind of self-loathing were possible
How could anyone love me when I hate myself so much?
I hate feeling so hopeless
What control do you have over anything if not yourself?
And the lack of control makes me loose control even more
Everything is just so overwhelming
Even the little things feel as though they may bury me under their weight
And part of me would welcome that if it would at least put an end to the pain
But it is something I will never escape
It will haunt me for as long as I draw breath
A banshee shrieking a constant reminder that I am simply a ghost of who I should be
Just call me Casper....

This Poem shows what a mind of a person with bi polar looks like , it is dark place most people will not understand.

I am so grateful Jesus saved me because he has brought me through the long period of bad days i have had .

Here some verses that have helped me :