MY VIEW ON SUICIDE BY BRIAN LUKE LEEMAN

This probably one of most sensitive and controversial topic's I have blogged about , so i am warning you this blog post is going to be dark at times and might offend you.

We need to change the culture of this topic and make it OK to speak about mental health and suicide.-

Luke Richardson

Lately i have been thinking about this topic as i have lately been watching Robin Williams videos on youtube. So I thought i would share my thought's and experiences with suicide.  

Since I was eight years old I have dealt with severe deep depression  and it can pretty bad at times .
With dealing with severe deep depression , i have had thoughts of  committing suicide and i have attempted to commit suicide twice  .

 Now you might be asking yourself  why I or anybody want to die so badly ?

Well the first time i attempted to commit suicide was 9 .
What about to tell you is hard for me to talk about but i feel is necessary to talk about .

At age 5 I was molested by a family member for a year ,  So at 9 i started to have nightmares of being molested at age five .  So i started picking my scabs and cutting myself hoping i would die . I ended up in a psych ward for kids.  It helped for a awhile but didn't last long .
I didn't stop cutting myself until march 9th of this year.

The 2nd time I tried committing suicide was in   January of 2010 .
At this time i was six months sober and was having a hard time coping with the changes in my life .
I felt like I was drowning in my own sadness .  I also was having hard time sleeping and so my mom gave some sleeping medication to help me sleep. ( in no way does my mom have any responsibility for this 2nd attempt on suicide  )
So feeling like there was no point of livening anymore , I swallowed half the bottle .
I didn't die , an again i went to a psych ward again.  This time i knew i wanted to live because   i had people who loved me , God had a plan for my life, and suicide was not the answer .


We need to discuss suicide and stop shying away from this issue .
People you probably know have or are dealing with this issue , I ask you to reach out to the people if know they are dealing with this issue .

I hope have open the door for this topic to be further talked about .